In Defense Of: "Knowing."

"I'm gonna steal the Declaration of Independence."

There was a mild shitstorm surrounding "Knowing" upon its release.

Branded as just more hogwild Nic Cage action ass-hattery, most critics were a little hard on the man. I mean, how could anyone not be? An Oscar win from 1995 and a nom in 2002, Cage had been looking a little out of place in recent years with stuff like "Bangkok Dangerous" and YouTube favorite "The Wicker Man." Cage's freakazoid sensibilities seem to have left audiences incapable of dealing with him — countless joke blogs and joke pictures evidenced this. I mean, look at his eyes! And that's if you can't see below his stangely receding hair...

Like a reverse Tom Cruise in 2005, Cage's onscreen demeanor had left cataracts in the public eye. I know I'm guilty of this, parading Cage photos on Facebook, laughing at his perpetually odd and/or sullen demeanor.

So last March, "Knowing" came out, and for the most part, it got spanked critically. Sure, it made a fair amount of dough back, but the harsh receptions, were damn harsh. 41 on Metacritic. 33% on RottenTomatoes. The Onion A.V. Club said it was this close to "Left Behind" material. EW said it was as inept as M. Night Shyamalan. Salon called it dour and dull, and my favorite, the NY Daily News called it "pathetic." Even a former colleague was defamatory towards this thing. And the movie's sole defender, Ebert, gave it a not only a four star, but meant it by adding "Knowing" to his top ten for 2009. And of course, Ebert's seemingly sanctimonious praise recruited a small army of debaters on his blog and website. Folks were downright outraged at such praise. Outraged!

And I get it. It's the end of the world, and Nic Cage just happens to be a cosmologist tuned up about it. It's preposterous, convenient and at times wishy-washy in its intentions. But, in response to all of those previous comments: I think you missed something. I'm not trying to align myself with Ebert as a lonely proponent. And I'm not trying to be a Cage apologist - I hated "World Trade Center" and "Family Man" and others. But damnit, "Knowing" was really entertaining, and honestly, it's been in my head for a few days. With its lovingly improbable story, expert direction/photography under budgetary constraint and willingness to great crazy scary when it needs to, "Knowing" is a strong exercise in misdirection and ideas. Think of like the best episode of "The Twilight Zone" you'll ever see. So please don't hate.

From the get-go, you're intrigued. A little girl, hearing voices, writes a numbers sheet that's put away in a time capsule to opened in 2009. The note happens to feature a sequence of numbers that list and predict the major world catastrophes of the last 50 years. Coincidental that Cosmology Professor John Koestler (Cage) and his son should find it? Well yeah. What, a janitor's going to find it and throw it out, only to chill for 90 minutes until the end of the world? Give the movie a little chance.

Anyways, Koestler is instinctively aware that the paper is a cheat sheet for impending doom. It leads him to the place of the next disaster, a truly frightening one-shot of a plane crash that occurs right before his eyes. So what's next to know? Is this proof of determinism? Can Kosetler change fate? Why are blondes/angels/aliens/quacks haunting and scaring his son? Are there important clues through the family of the note's writer? The thing is, it's all of startlingly convenient plotting, but you don't care because Proyas has a haphazard knack for visual storytelling (see: "Dark City").

Let's go down the line of your possible complaints:

1. I get that the story raises too many questions. But remember, in science fiction, you CAN make your own rules, and people always get pissed when a work's rules aren't consistent, explained or resolved. Like in "District 9," friends of mine were annoyed over the details surrounding the main character's transformation. Well, what scientific precedents do we have to gauge the accuracy and consistency of alien mutation? So if you complain about the purpose the little black rocks in "Knowing," or the perfect 50 year timetable of the sheet, lemme help you out: they don't necessarily need to be explained.

2. The scientific and theoligical implications are fascinating, even if "Knowing" doesn't know what to say about each. But, isn't that what smart fiction does? Like "Hurt Locker" or "High Noon," it raises questions only to allow you to make answers. Make what you will about the blonde men in the end, but you'll feel compelled to make something of them.

3. Look, Nicolas Cage is NOT, repeat, NOT a bad actor. Weird, eccentric, often over-the-top? Well cut the chit-chat, A-HOLE! Sorry, I always wanted to do that. But like Ebert said on Twitter: he's never boring. Even when you think he flies off the rails — oddly, after a train flies off the rails – he keeps it together just enough to make you kinda care about the man, doing what he can to save the day. Complain about the cliched or superficial tendencies of "Knowing," and I'll say it was thoughtful and often emotional. The final scene with Koestler and his son? Kinda heart-breaking. Even with a bird hair-do. Just forget the door-scratching scene near the end...

4. The story, however ludicrous, is like a perfectly timed bomb. The end of the world has seldom been this scary and allegedly legitimate. It's all about propitiousness and the fine line between randomness and "shit happening." So if you think it's all silly, then try listening to Cage's speech early on about those topics. The debate doesn't feel like it had to be forked in there for exemption only.

5. Still think it's stupid? Fine, we can debate later. Am I saying that "Knowing" is a perfect classic? Oh hell no. But a semi-great movie? Semi-profound? Yeah, I'd go that far. I feel like I need to say something about. Still looks ridiculous? Don't like Nic Cage? Fair enough. But if you ask, not only will I loan you this movie, I'll watch it with you ... for free.

I really liked it, and must recommend it.

Beats the hell out of blind rage for Cage...

"I PLAY A COSMOLOGIST!!! WHOOO!"