Chick Flicks I Can Deal With

Chicks, man.

I've been called a "sexist" multiple times. In print, by a family member, probably behind my back and so on and so forth. I fear women. Not because I'm insecure, no. I just know for a fact that they're all smarter than me. But damnit, I have a sensitive side! I have two older sisters and years of training in the arts of film and dealing with the women. That's why it concerns me that I generally have trouble with Chick Flicks. Don't get me started, but if you want to watch 'ol Goble have a conniption fit, ask me about "Love, Actually" or ""Pretty Women" or the new "Valentine's Day." Actually, pretty much anything Garry Marshall or Julia Roberts makes me look like a Mütiilation album went to 11 in my head.

But, that's not to say I dislike romance, romantic comedy or the seemingly impenetrable "chick flick." Sure, I just saw "Best Friend's Wedding" for the first time and immediately hated it. I hate a lot of these films. But there are a few golden gals out there. So, out of respect for sisters, mothers and daughters everywhere ... for the sake of February almost being over and almost confusing this with Valentine's Day fluff ... for the fact that "Sophisticated Bitch" literally just popped in my iTunes and I'm really starting to feel guilty ... because despite the fact that I don't consider myself a manly man or a bigot, I feel I shun these films too often ... here are some of my favorite "chick flicks."

Here's a guide for your boyfriend. Or if you don't have one, uh, watch 'em with me?

My terms for properly labeling something a chick flick?

- The film has a strong, if not sole female lead, involved in romantic dealings. Self-discovery or love can and should be involved, and the top billed female should be more important, if not equal to her counterpart.

- Again, romance should be involved. So as much as I like "Norma Rae," "Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore," "Erin Brockovich," "Nine to Five" or "Volver," and their gender empowerment ... those films are far more reflexive than romantic.

- No Garry Marshall.

- No Julia Roberts.

- That's it. Fingers crossed that I got this right.

Eat me Carrie Bradshaw. Holly Gollightly is my single lady in the city. It doesn't hurt that this is adapted from that gifted gossiping hen Capote, or that Audrey Hepburn is lovely and luminous. But man, "Moon River" sticks with you, and so does this bittersweet romance. Even if Mr. Yunioshi makes you wanna hang your head.

"Snap out of it!" These days, every sappy, soapy and sweet moment in this kind of romantic comedy would be overplayed. Even exhausting I might say. But Norman Jewison's "Moonstruck" is just too perfect. Between John Shanley's straightforward writing and the two leads' commanding performances, "Moonstruck" just feels right. Think I'm wrong? Watch "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" right after this, and you'll see.

When the hell did a romantic comedy win best picture, let alone really deserve to? Swift and snappy, Claudette Colbert and Clark Gable's whirlwind romance across the country has lasted thanks to some snappy dialogue and now iconic moments of cuteness — the near wholly exposed leg! OMG! If it's on TCM, and it likely will be soon, then watch it. Just beware the 'Walls of Jericho.'

Bawww. Oh man, I was bawling my eyes out during the pitch-perfect epilogue. A postmodern romance with a nuanced and strong leading performance from Keira Knightley, "Atonement" is deeply, sadly romantic. I honestly think "Atonement" is underrated and deserves a better audience. Also — and this is as crass I'll get — the green dress sex scene? YOWZA!!!

I mean, a list like this needs some representation from the sassy Katherine Hepburn. In this screwball romance, Hepburn accidentally drags a game Cary Grant through thick and fun, only to bring about some great romantic comedy. The film begs the question: What happens when you mix a paleontoligist with an heiress and divide it by a leopard? Well, it's "Baby" baby. Also, I just realized "Adam's Rib" and possible "Philadelphia Story" may be acceptable substitutes.

This is like Clint Eastwood apologizing, kinda successfully, for decades of mysogyny and woman-hating. "Bridges" is the all too brief, four-day romance between a farmer's wife and a National Geographic photographer in 1965 Iowa. It's patient, romantic and thoughtfully played out by the Glint as part of his Autumn Renaissance. I remember all the Simpsons jokes, and the irony of Clint doing something like this, but I mean it: "Bridges" is so good. Good Clint score too!

My near fetishistic love of Hughes peaks several years after this movie, but still, "Sixteen Candles" is awesomely earnest, despite the exact same problem that "Tiffany's" has — can you say 'insensitive Asians?' But Hughes nails an age, time and place with seemingly true efficiency. Some might call Hughes' depictions of youth trite or oversimplified. I say universally applicable. Plus, this has been duplicated for decades now, and somehow never acceptably recreated.

I've already written about the amazing yet underseen "Star" in my top ten for 2009, but here's another blurb! It's great! It's awesome! Poetic! Lyrical! Abbie Cornish was snubbed! See this movie now in DVD!

Well, that's all I got for now. Did I miss something? Screw anything up? Will any of you ladies want to be watching these with me before the month is out? Put it in the comments.

Or call me.

I love you babe.

Yes, you.

The Tops in 2009: Complete List

Hello everybody, and welcome to Hairy Lime's official top ten films list for 2009. This is the master list.

In summary:

2009's been a gravy-train year for the industry. With a record 10.5 billion and counting in domestic ticket sales, 2009 was definitely a recession year, ripe for escapist experiences. Or so you'd think. There were some radical films this past year, but not all were digestible tripe. Sure we had gonzo excess with "Avatar" and "Gobots 2," and I kinda had fun at those. But, we also had some really memorable and engrossing films like "Precious," "The Messenger" and "The Proposal."

We saw Sandra Bullock kick ass at the BO, but taint it with the fact that her movies were middling. "Taken" and "Paul Blart" tortured terrorists and audiences, respectively. Mo'Nique shocked us by letting us think she deserved an Oscar. Grown women got all Mary Kat Loterneau for a 17 year old in "New Moon." "Harry Potter" made $300 milly, despite every complaining that it was unfaithful, again. And, we saw a surprisingly low amount of comic book films. What the flog?

There was a lot to see this year. And it was mostly worthwhile. Ebert called the year magical. OK. I'd call it decent. Maltin called it weak. I'd still call it decent. It's not perfect when I'm not fawning at all of Clooney's movies. Let's be frank, I've had some time to catch a flick or two or twenty, and I saw some great, thoughtful work in theaters. After I saw "Terminator," of course.

But, enough of my fluff.

This list will be in two parts. 10 through 6 today. 5 through 1 this week. There will also be an"Honor Roll" for films that don't quite make the grade (we're in a recession, not everyone has ability, or passion to make top 40's.). And, we'll have a list of films I'll admit to not seeing, next issue. And you don't like the list? Upset I didn't include "Precious" or "Ponyo?" Eat it. Or spew in the comments. Whatever works.

Let's do this.

________________________________________________

A triumphantly lyrical return for Jane Campion ("The Piano"), the Aussie director came back with an emotional punch, doing what she's always done best: sincere period romance. "Bright Star" is the episodic ballad of John Keats (Ben Wishaw, "Perfume") and his brief but rapturous romance with his neighbor Fanny Brawne (Abbie Cornish, "Stop-Loss"). Artfully staged, elegantly scored and lovingly acted out by the two leads, "Star" is a reminder that the best romance on film is patient. Abbie Cornish deserves super kudos for her work as Brawne, a woman experiencing first love on a level that is both familiar and enviable for its honesty. And remember, this a time when being a poet was chick magnetic. It wouldn't get you laughed out of a bar.

Keith Phipps said it best in the A.V. Club: "Haneke's latest is essentially an inquiry into the roots of certain kind of evil." Vague, simple, and all too deeply taunting. Michael Haneke, master of the modern, awkward thriller hooks it with this eery postcard of a Protestant town in Northern Germany on the cusp of World War 1. Weird shit's happening like barn fires, horses being tripped with wire, and attempts made on the lives of infants. The town's adults at a loss for what's happening, but we come to realize it's a pseudo "Village of the Damned" scenario as we learn the town's children are committing these atrocities. And we all know what generation these children grow into. "White Ribbon" is a truly haunting look at a time of bitter withholding.

Honestly, it took me three viewings to realize just how freakin brilliant this movie is. "District 9" deserves to be called one of the great science fiction films, as it encompasses some of the genre's best qualities in terms of images and ideas. At times "9" is thrilling and visceral — the electro gun that turns people into apple sauce appeals to that 10-year old in everyone. But it's also one of the most thoughtful ruminations on occupation policy to reach a wide audience. My original complaints were that "9" tries its hand in too many genres to hide its space opera roots. But after repeat viewings, I see "9" now for what it is: Innovative, isigthful and ultimately, damn entertaining. Take THAT Dean Worm, er, James Cameron!

The only true comedy on this list, "Black Dynamite" was not only one of the funniest films to come out in '09, but it was a perfect satire and parody of a genre and an era we really don't visit that often. That's not to say "Dynamite" is totally esoteric. "Dynamite" has enough clever, cult comedy to make this film get a deserved audience. With great lines like "Diabolical dick-shrinking motherfuckers!" and great sight gags (visible boom mikes, crappy 1970's camera) worthy of Zucker Brothers credibility. Think "Grindhouse," but less smug. And, unlike "The Hangover," "Dynamite," has a killer soundtrack. Also, after years of B-movie jail, Michael Jai White deserves a breakout with his winning afro show as the eponymous lead. "Dyno-mite! Dyno-mite!"

A former colleague of mine argued that the lead character in the Coens' latest didn't deserve anything that happens to him. I begged to differ. But we certainly agreed on one thing: This was one weird and rewarding dramedy. Half grotesque Coens ("O' Brother," "Raising Arizona"), half crafty Coens ("No Country," "Miller's Crossing"), "A Serious Man" is the kind of personal project project directors could only make after winning Oscars. Wanna see a Jewish Minnesotas math professor face off with the cosmos in the early 1960's? Well, that prospect has never been so abysmally entertaining. See it with friends, as you'll be debating this doozy of a movie for weeks to come. Oh, and if you keep complaining that you "didn't do anything" like the "Serious Man" keeps exclaiming, then maybe you deserve to be railed on by the universe. And oddly enough, you'll wanna be there when it happens.

A striking and promising debut from designer Tom Ford, "Single Man" is a tragic story of love lost and a day in the life of a Los Angeles english professor. Colin Firth ("Mamma Mia!") puts on a show as George, the professor who just lost his long-term lover Jim (Matthew Goode, "Watchmen") to an accident. George contemplates suicide, constantly being teased into staying alive. The loss burns deep. We feel George's pain. Firth is Best Actor worthy, as was Jeff Bridges in '09. But unlike "Crazy Heart," "Man" is filmed a stylish sturdiness that shows Tom Ford isn't just some shallow sex machine in a suit. There's a lot that goes on beneath the exterior, and we look a little bit inside George. To be fair, I did want to buy some damn Ford clothes after this thing. But, I settled for downloading the elegant soundtrack. This is "Mad Men's" tortured soul, and it's way more affecting.

Alright! Pixar comes back into my heart with Pete Docter's "Up." After superficial efforts in "Wall-E" and "Cars," (yeah, I called them superficial) "Up" re-strengthens the Pixar mold of sturdy stories met with sterling sights. Ed Asner (TV's "Freakazoid!" for some reason) is Carl, a widower who decides to take the trip to South America he promised his wife so long ago. And if you've seen a poster, you know he gets there in his house, with a helluva lotta balloons. Carl's joined by Russel, an over-eager young Boy Scout, Dug, a most likable talking dog, and Kevin, a large and rare bird. Part fantasy, part cautionary tale, "UP" is all whimsy. Also, the perfect first ten minutes will make you cry in way that puts Bambi to shame. Carl and his wive's lives are chronicled in a perfectly edited and scored montage, deserving of study.

Somewhere, in some preview, a critic claimed that the stop motion "Fantastic Mr. Fox" just goes to show that "Pixar doesn't have a monopoly on fine films." And how. Wes Anderson's latest is not only his best work in eight years, but it's his most creative piece, well suited for his talents of selfish men and meaningful minutiae for the camera. George Clooney is that fox, and we follow his fun and fancy free as he faces off with three nasty farmers. But's there far more than just that story on display. "Mr. Fox" is a rich and rewarding adaptation from the doyen of children's fiction, Roald Dahl. Seeing as Anderson's film is about details, here a few of the strong ones: Stellar soundtrack, perfectly cast voices, a thoughtful story, great sense of humor, smart and simple dialogue, style to spare, details, details and more details. And it only gets better with each fantastic viewing. Damn. Almost made it without the obvious comment...

This film has become almost supernatural in my mind. Werner Herzog's "Bad Lieutenant" is an immediate cult classic on institutional failure and excesses in the life and times of one, bad, policeman. Nic Cage is in full gonzo mode, screaming, drinking, fucking, betting, shooting, snorting, beating, and just plain gettin' real weird with it. As Terence McDonough, the bad man of the title, Cage plays a possibly good man, tainted by, well, everything that surrounds him. Ostensibly, "Lieutenant" is a rambling mess. Why watch Cage be forkin' nuts for two hours? Because the memories are deep, lasting and often hysterical. Try watching this and not having a quote-a-thon after it's done. That's not to belittle Herzog's character study as too strange to watch. In fact, Cage and Herzog would only want you to call this movie crazy. This is a tour de force movie. And if you aren't seeing iguanas afterwards ... well, that's probably alright.

I probably shouldn't tell you this, but lemme tell you why "The Hurt Locker" was so damn awesome. I went to see this with three friends, and admittedly, a couple of us were drunk ... ish. We saw it with the idea that this was supposed to be some unusually good action flick. Ya know, some wise-crackin' bomb defuser flick. "Speed" without Keanu. Well, within 15 minutes, it's like all the Bud Select had been diffused and I was in a catatonic state. Same went for the others with me. "Hurt Locker" grabbed all of us.

Kathryn Bigelow's structuralist war epic "Hurt Locker" grabs you, keeps you in its clenched fists, and leaves its mark. I have only seen "Hurt Locker" once, but it's just that affecting. A flawless thriller of ideas and technique, Bigelow hit a career high. More than bomb defuser actioner, "Hurt Locker" is not only best film to observe the Iraq War, it is one of the great war films. It is innovative for its aesthetics, breath-taking for its story, and certainly the finest film of 2009. Unlike the ephemeral jolt of an explosion, this important stunner of a film will endure.

And if you're not sure, maybe it's too heavy for you, the consider this. Look at the still I chose. How incendiary is it that Bigelow took one of the most cliched images of recent cinema — the cool guy coming towards the camera, away from an explosion — and turned it into one of the great film moments of the year? Look at other top tens. You'll see that image everywhere for a reason.

"Antichrist" - I'm a sucker for shock value, and Lars Von Trier's psycho-drama featured gynocide, the death of an infant, and a forebodingly talkative fox. Hilarious to some, harrowing for others. This got folks talking.

"Observe & Report" - Jody Hill has tremendous potential. After seeing this pitch black comedy about a delusional mall cop, I foresee Hill becoming something of a Scorsese in comedy. Plus, Seth Rogen shows his dark side, and it's painfully, fatalistically funny.

"Broken Embraces" - A film appreciation course for film lovers. Parts Welles, Hitchcock, Truffaut, Herzog and a dozen others, Almodovar created a soapy opus about a blind filmmaker's lost film. Penelope Cruz is luminous. Indulgent, in a mostly marvelous way.

"Le Nana (The Maid)" - From Chile, this domestic disturbance of a movie was way underseen. My hail mary for best actress, this examination of a maid in crisis after 20+ years of aiding her family draws you in. Eerily familiar, and sensationally dramatic.

________________________________________________

Did not see:

"35 Shots of Rum" "Goodbye Solo" "Anvil: The Story of Anvil" "Ponyo" "The Cove" "The Messenger"

And the rest?:

"Avatar" B+ "Inglourious Basterds" B- "An Education" A- "Crazy Heart" B+ "Precious" B "In the Loop" B+ "Up in the Air" C "(500) Days of Summer" C "Food, Inc." B+ "Star Trek" C+.

AND A FINAL NOTE TO THOSE THAT READ THIS:

Thanks, and do share it with someone.

And, if you're interested in last year's top ten, ch-ch-check it out:

(http://blakegoble.blogspot.com/2009/01/top-ten-films-of-2008-cross-streams.html)

The Tops in 2009: Part 1

Hello everybody, and welcome to Hairy Lime's official top ten films list for 2009.

In summary:

2009's been a gravy-train year for the industry. With a record 10.5 billion and counting in domestic ticket sales, 2009 was definitely a recession year, ripe for escapist experiences. Or so you'd think. There were some radical films this past year, but not all were digestible tripe. Sure we had gonzo excess with "Avatar" and "Gobots 2," and I kinda had fun at those. But, we also had some really memorable and engrossing films like "Precious," "The Messenger" and "The Proposal."

We saw Sandra Bullock kick ass at the BO, but taint it with the fact that her movies were middling. "Taken" and "Paul Blart" tortured terrorists and audiences, respectively. Mo'Nique shocked us by letting us think she deserved an Oscar. Grown women got all Mary Kat Loterneau for a 17 year old in "New Moon." "Harry Potter" made $300 milly, despite every complaining that it was unfaithful, again. And, we saw a surprisingly low amount of comic book films. What the flog?

There was a lot to see this year. And it was mostly worthwhile. Ebert called the year magical. OK. I'd call it decent. Maltin called it weak. I'd still call it decent. It's not perfect when I'm not fawning at all of Clooney's movies. Let's be frank, I've had some time to catch a flick or two or twenty, and I saw some great, thoughtful work in theaters. After I saw "Terminator," of course.

But, enough of my fluff.

This list will be in two parts. 10 through 6 today. 5 through 1 this week. There will also be an"Honor Roll" for films that don't quite make the grade (we're in a recession, not everyone has ability, or passion to make top 40's.). And, we'll have a list of films I'll admit to not seeing, next issue. And you don't like the list? Upset I didn't include "Precious" or "Ponyo?" Eat it. Or spew in the comments. Whatever works.

Let's do this.

A triumphantly lyrical return for Jane Campion ("The Piano"), the Aussie director came back with an emotional punch, doing what she's always done best: sincere period romance. "Bright Star" is the episodic ballad of John Keats (Ben Wishaw, "Perfume") and his brief but rapturous romance with his neighbor Fanny Brawne (Abbie Cornish, "Stop-Loss"). Artfully staged, elegantly scored and lovingly acted out by the two leads, "Star" is a reminder that the best romance on film is patient. Abbie Cornish deserves super kudos for her work as Brawne, a woman experiencing first love on a level that is both familiar and enviable for its honesty. And remember, this a time when being a poet was chick magnetic. It wouldn't get you laughed out of a bar.

Keith Phipps said it best in the A.V. Club: "Haneke's latest is essentially an inquiry into the roots of certain kind of evil." Vague, simple, and all too deeply taunting. Michael Haneke, master of the modern, awkward thriller hooks it with this eery postcard of a Protestant town in Northern Germany on the cusp of World War 1. Weird shit's happening like barn fires, horses being tripped with wire, and attempts made on the lives of infants. The town's adults at a loss for what's happening, but we come to realize it's a pseudo "Village of the Damned" scenario as we learn the town's children are committing these atrocities. And we all know what generation these children grow into. "White Ribbon" is a truly haunting look at a time of bitter withholding.

Honestly, it took me three viewings to realize just how freakin brilliant this movie is. "District 9" deserves to be called one of the great science fiction films, as it encompasses some of the genre's best qualities in terms of images and ideas. At times "9" is thrilling and visceral — the electro gun that turns people into apple sauce appeals to that 10-year old in everyone. But it's also one of the most thoughtful ruminations on occupation policy to reach a wide audience. My original complaints were that "9" tries its hand in too many genres to hide its space opera roots. But after repeat viewings, I see "9" now for what it is: Innovative, isigthful and ultimately, damn entertaining. Take THAT Dean Worm, er, James Cameron!

The only true comedy on this list, "Black Dynamite" was not only one of the funniest films to come out in '09, but it was a perfect satire and parody of a genre and an era we really don't visit that often. That's not to say "Dynamite" is totally esoteric. "Dynamite" has enough clever, cult comedy to make this film get a deserved audience. With great lines like "Diabolical dick-shrinking motherfuckers!" and great sight gags (visible boom mikes, crappy 1970's camera) worthy of Zucker Brothers credibility. Think "Grindhouse," but less smug. And, unlike "The Hangover," "Dynamite," has a killer soundtrack. Also, after years of B-movie crapola, Michael Jai White deserves an A-list breakout with his winning afro show as the eponymous lead. "Dyno-mite! Dyno-mite!"

A former colleague of mine argued that the lead character in the Coens' latest didn't deserve anything that happens to him. I begged to differ. But we certainly agreed on one thing: This was one weird and rewarding dramedy. Half grotesque Coens ("O' Brother," "Raising Arizona"), half crafty Coens ("No Country," "Miller's Crossing"), "A Serious Man" is the kind of personal project project directors could only make after winning Oscars. Wanna see a Jewish Minnesotas math professor face off with the cosmos in the early 1960's? Well, that prospect has never been so abysmally entertaining. See it with friends, as you'll be debating this doozy of a movie for weeks to come. Oh, and if you keep complaining that you "didn't do anything" like the "Serious Man" keeps exclaiming, then maybe you deserve to be railed on by the universe. And oddly enough, you'll wanna be there when it happens.

_______________________________________________

That's it for the first half. But stay tuned for part 2, coming soon.

And, if you're interested in last year's top ten, ch-ch-check it out:

(http://blakegoble.blogspot.com/2009/01/top-ten-films-of-2008-cross-streams.html)

To Be Continued...

My Week of Wonders. Or: "How I saw a shit-ton of flicks."

This post is a kind of diary entry. I want to take note of all the films I've seen in the last week-and-a-half, and observe just how decent if not great they all were. It's the beginning of the good time of year for me. The time when solid movies become presented ones. Besides, there are far better things to do than sit inside all day. Right? Wait a minute.

Thursday, October 15.

"Bright Star" A-. See lower entry on that one.

Friday, October 16.

"Berlin 36" B.

"I repeat, do not look up the skirt on the left..."

Susan Sontag more-or-less diagnosed my problems as a simple case of "fascinating fascism." In other words, her essay elaborated, in part, why I gravitate towards fascist imagery in films and pop culture. This film only further fed the monkey. But that therapy is for another day.

A historical document of the Nazis rigging the '36 Olympics by putting a seventeen-year-old boy in the women's high jump. TV-movie dramatic at times, the film presents a great look at not only the biggest failures of the 20th century (Ze Nazi party), but at an odd time with awful practices in getting Olympic medals.

Monday, October 19.

"A Single Man" A-.

"Why yes thank you. I am rather dapper."

I just can't comprehend or get into "Mad Men" for the life of me. "Watch the first five episodes and you'll get into it!" everyone says. Yeah, same goes for all shows.

But, in 99 minutes, first time director and fashion designer Tom Ford nails that same era. 1962. A professor mourning the loss of a long-time partner, contemplates suicide on a fateful L.A. day. An optimistic tragedy set against the great paranoia of the Cuban Missile Crisis. Oh, and Colin Firth's subdued, sublime lead performance? It almost makes you forget a decade of post-Bridget Jones pussywhipping.

Wednesday, October 21.

"Where the Wild Thigs Are" C+.

"No, I don't need any TP. I am wild..."

And Spike Jonze makes another flick beyond his grasp. Unique concepts, creative execution and decent taste somehow just don't add up in this dirt-clod adaptation. Jonze has such talent for visually stunning videos and shorts, yet his movies almost always never get beyond their own gimmicks and tricks. "Wild Things" only perpetuated that trend. Could be called "Muppets go Emo." No I am not hard on Spike. Shut up.

Wednesday, October 21.

"Black Dynamite" A.

"..."

Arguably, the funniest film of 2009. A pitch-perfect satire/spoof of the blaxploitation genre, it falls in line with "Death Proof" as a sublimely postmodern movie. Complete with visible boom-mikes, crappy kung-fu, Curtis Mayfield music and my new favorite film line of the year:

"You diabolical dick-shrinking motherfuckers!" - Black Dynamite

A perfect spoof of a long forgotten genre, as well as a nice satire of the hypocrisies that those movies perpetutated, "Dynamite" was dynamite.

Thursday, October 22.

"A Serious Man" A.

"You ears are burning."

Right in the middle of the Coen Brother spectrum, "A Serious Man" is both a hysterical geek show ("Raising Arizona") and a masterfully crafted parable ("No Country for Old Men"). A labor of love from the Brothers, it pits Larry Gopnik, Minnesotan math professor and semi-schmuck, against the cosmos. Never has a man been so familiarly, domestically punished, and yet we watch with anticipation and anxiety. Just what the Coens would want. A great boost from "Burn After Reading."

Saturday, October 24.

"Antichrist" No grade.

"A hint for the squeamish."

I honestly don't think a grade is applicable to this film. You've read about it. You've more than likely heard about it. And there is no similar take on this film. But, I suppose, here is mine: A Bergman-esque, Brechtian, "Shining"-like glance at the horrifying self-destruction of a couple after the tragic loss of their small child. Enthralling, appalling and just too fascinating a film to miss out on, "Antichrist" really deserves a look. Even if you're just titillated by the gonzo Cannes P.R. business.

Bonus: Friday the 23rd, I saw "Ghostbusters" as a 1984 print, on the big screen. It's still my all-time favorite film. No jokes now. There were tons of new details I noticed this time — Rick Moranis' funny face, the small background details — which made it absolutely worthwhile. And this time, it had an odd time-travel effect, likely due to the old theater and old print. So, it was like seeing it when it first came out, which was way cool. So, in short: Bustin' made me feel good.

"A couple of crappy blog capsules?"

What Are You Up To Tonight?: "Bright Star"

"Nice shoes." - John Keats

2009 thus far has been so-so for movies. But that's why we can thank our lucky stars the fall is coming in nicely, and that means a forthcoming onslaught of Oscar-potential movies. Or, at least, films of attempted distinction. And George Clooney. OK, stuff that doesn't have "revenge" or "2" in the title.

That's why, I feel the need to endorse a marvelous new movie, "Bright Star." It's totally worth a weirdo blog post.

My top ten list for this year has been lacking, and this is the first straight drama of this year that left me actually feeling something, aside from annoyance. For the sake of laziness, here are 5 reasons to see "Bright Star.":

1. It's Sincere.

- A costume drama without revisionist overtones? Eat your cake Kirsten Dunst. Plus, it's a drama that doesn't botch the drama, like with heavy strings or showy performances.

2. Jane Campion.

- I'm a sucker for directors that went to art school (Gus Van Sant, David Gordon Green). Their styles tend to reach for the poetic, and how appropriate is that when dealing with the love life of romantic John Keats? Also, Campion is only one of a few female directors to be nominated at the Oscars. And she made "The Piano." "The PIANO."

3. Relatable?

- How many people know this relationship story?: An on-again, off-again relationship between a gifted literary figure, and a sweet and subtle working girl with artistic inclinations? Sounds like about a 1000 college relationships. Except, this one doesn't end in bull-shitty theatrics and screaming. It's deep and true love. And not in a way that makes me spiteful!

4. Dig this: A Good Story, with Great Acting?

Did you know Abbie Cornish could act? And I was all like, "where the hell have I seen her?" She's beautifully fiery, and not in an annoyingly Julia Roberts way. Ben Wishaw? Yeah, he's great too. He portrays Keats as an enigmatic, amiable figure. Cute too, what with all the blue and top hats. Plus, it's a simple love story. I'm sure you can guess the ending — you did have poetry units in high school right? — but it doesn't matter. The feeling is romantic, tried and true.

5. Statue Bait.

I see Actress, Supporting Actor, Director, Photography, Costume Design, Art Direction, and possibly even writing. Maybe even a best picture nod with 10 these days.

In conclusion: SEE "BRIGHT STAR." It's better than "Couples Retreat," I can assure you.