A director's looming nightmare.

"The roof is on fire?"

“Dream House”
Rated PG-13
Universal/Morgan Creek
Now in Wide Release
1.5 out of 4 Stars

By BLAKE GOBLE

How did this happen to Jim Sheridan?

The Irish auteur has six Oscar nominations to his credit, thanks to past masterworks like “My Left Foot,” “In the Name of the Father” and “In America”. Now, after directing hip-hop huckster 50 Cent in “Get Rich or Die Tryin’”, and half-assedly helming the boilerplate thriller “Dream House,” it’s official: Sheridan is phoning it in for a pay-day. Joining other tainted greats like Roland Jaffe (“Captivity” after “The Killing Fields”), John Singleton (“Abduction” after “Boyz n’ the Hood”) and Alan Parker (“The Life of David Gale” after “Mississippi Burning”), Sheridan has fallen from grace with a hokey, awkward thriller. “Dream House” admittedly, looks great in pedigree. A lauded director, leading an all-star cast in a seemingly unique premise ought to be enough to intrigue.

Daniel Craig (“Casino Royale”) is Will, a successful publisher and family man who learns that there may have been murders committed within his idyllic home. The kick? Will may have committed these crimes, and his grasp of reality is quickly weakening.

This sounds intriguing enough. The problem is that Sheridan doesn’t have passion for the material, his characters or a need to satisfyingly answer questions. “Dream House” is lazy. The pace is slow, without building real question or a desire to answer Will’s problems. The actors - and there are some good ones in this (“The Constant Garnder’s Rachel Weisz as Will’s wife, and “21 Grams’” Naomi Watts as a suspicious neighbor) – just don’t seem to be trying. Ultimately, logic, care and patience are not part of the “Dream.” Pensive acting and plodding narrative make the accurately labeled “Dream House” capable of putting one to sleep. Once secrets are revealed, it just doesn’t matter. The same could be said of Sheridan’s once exciting, earthy directing. Maybe this isn’t entirely his fault, but one could easily have dreamed of more.

Dream a Bigger Dream

I've kinda been avoiding this.

But certain arguments brought to light my real love for this film.

Basically, it's "Vertigo" with a gun-toting sensibility. But think grief, guilt, obsession, tricks of the mind (of course), with a unique visual style and a need for redemption.

Prove me wrong.

Insert Letter Grade Pun Here

"Foo' Fighters."

When I was about six, I watched this show in syndication after school. This and "CHiPS." I have a light but sincere fondness for "The A-Team," specifically for Murdock and Baracus, and of course, that damn theme song. But that's about as far as it goes.

I'm probably not alone on this, and that's why freaking nostalgia sells. That's why 20th Century Fox saw fit to give us a big budget remake of the '80s hit: because I (and many others) am stupid enough and willing enough to pay for tickets to a big budget bonanza of an "A-Team" movie. And here we are.

I care a little bit more about "A-Team" than "Charlie's Angels" or "Brady Bunch," and that's why I'm willing to forgive this film for it's obvious faults (huge problems).

I could discuss the limitations of the film, and its total lack of script, dick-headed Bradley Cooper scenes, and piss-poor, dumbed down editing that always has to explain the Team's big plans. But, on the other hand, I could praise the film's willingness to go obnoxious with it, and make the most of Sharlto Copely (despite doing hundreds of English accents...). But, really, that would be far too great a compliment to this film: in-depth analysis.

Nuts to that.

"The A-Team" is a bad movie. But, it is a watchable one. So, 'nuff said.

Post Stuff: May the Force Critique You

"GOD DAMN IT JAR JAR! WE'LL CALL YOU. OK?!?!"

Nerd Alert.

I guess the biggest disappointment in the new "Star Wars" flicks wasn't that I thought they were truly lousy. They were mediocre to decent. Fine. But what bummed me out was my sudden loss of zeal for the Lucas space operas. I had all the toys, the cards, some clothes and quotes by heart. But then the '99 movie came. And even then I didn't feel for it. And then came high school. And then the lightsaber boy video. And then other movies. Long story short, it saddens me that I don't feel for Chewy and Skywalker the way I used to. But between the new movies, and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog going to the premiere, I lost it.

You notice how in certain reviews, like a ton for "Avatar," they refer to it as something akin to seeing "Star Wars" for the first time? Well, I don't even remember the first time anymore...

But that's why this video is sooo cool. Freakish, maybe. But it's entertaining, modern criticism at its best. A dude from Milwaukee makes a 70-minute blasting of "Phantom Menace," and it's spreading like wildfire over the interwebs? That's because it's the most engaging "Wars" project I've encountered since I was ten. Far be it from me to try and bandwagon its success, but "The Phantom Menace Review" is totally worthwhile, especially for part 7 (with a Czar-ist Lucas), and the narrator's funked voice.

So ch-ch-check it out:

Want to maybe watch the rest? Youtube it.